The Game
by TracyT
Summary: On a stakeout, Kate learns something very interesting about Castle. Warning!  Controversial subject matter!


Title: The Game

Author: TracyT

Rating: M

Category: Angst, Controversial subjects, a small bit of Caskett

Summary: On a stakeout, Kate learns something very interesting about Castle

Spoilers: None

Archive: Yes, Please!

Feedback to:

Disclaimer: Not mine, but I wish they were. No profit will be made on this. It is a labor of love.

Author's Note: Okay, this is very dangerous waters for me, but the idea came into my head and I put it on paper. It's a controversial subject, but I think could be believable for the character. I hope no one is offended by this, I apologize if you are. TT

#######

Three hours into the stakeout, both Castle and Beckett had reached maximum boredom. The side street they were parked on offered a view of the suspect's run-down apartment building, but aside from that, there was not much to see. A soft rain fell on the hood of the car and on the windows. The only think Kate had to do was occasionally start the car to use the wipers now and then.

Kate looked at the remains of the doughnuts and grimaced. Two were still whole, but stale now, and the third was in the same condition, but had one bite removed from it, thanks to Castle. She glanced over at him only to find him with his head back and his eyes closed. A soft snore emitted from his open mouth.

"Castle!" Kate whacked him in the arm. "Wake up!" His snore was cut off mid-stream and he bolted upright.

"Whoa, wha…what?" His eyes were wide open now in alarm, his brow hiked up into his hairline.

"First rule of a stakeout, no going to sleep."

Castle cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Oh. Yeah…yeah, I knew that. Sorry. It's just...do you think we are wasting our time? Nothing seems to be happening. No one has come and gone from that building in hours."

Kate sighed. "Yeah, I know, but sometimes, just when you think it's time to call it a day, something happens." She glanced at her watch. "Thirty more minutes and we call it, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, sounds good." Castle shifted around in his seat, looking for a more comfortable position.

Drawing in a deep breath Kate said, "Let's play a game."

"A game?" He turned a bleary eye toward Kate.

"Yeah, you know a word game or something, just to keep us awake and alert, that kind of thing."

"What kind of game?"

Kate eyed the leftover doughnuts and reached for one. As she tore it into several pieces she said, "A variation on the game Nikki and Rook played in 'Heat Rises.'"

Castle's eyebrows rose. "Really? You know how that ended." He nudged her with an elbow, a cheeky grin on his face. "Not that I'm objecting or anything. Hmm…what should I take off first?"

Kate gave him a reproving look. "We are going to stay fully clothed, mister. What I _meant _was, we ask each other questions. Here." She passed him a handful of doughnut pieces, which he accepted reluctantly. "These will be our chips." She quickly tore the other two doughnuts into pieces and distributed them evenly.

"You ask me a question, and if I answer, I get one of your chips. If I refuse to answer, you get three of my chips. The catch is, the questioner then has to answer the same question, so you can't ask me something you'd refuse to answer yourself. Also, if the questioner wants more elaboration he or she has to pay five chips to do so. If the answerer refuses, the answerer has to eat five of his own doughnut pieces. There will be twenty main questions, total, which do not include elaboration questions, and the person with the most chips at the end, wins. Oh, and the questions will start out with simple things like favorite color, things like that, and escalate to more elaborate, personal questions. Got it?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess. You go first."

"Okay, what's your favorite color?"

"Blue." Kate handed over a doughnut piece. "Okay, you go."

"I'll return the question. What's your favorite color?"

"Oh, come on, Castle, you have to ask? Red."

Castle handed over a doughnut piece with a grin. "Silly me, I should have known. And you look so good in it, too."

"Favorite movie?"

"Public Enemy." Castle didn't hesitate.

Kate handed over a chip. "The one with Johnny Depp in it?"

"_No, _the old one, with Jimmy Cagney in it. You know, _"Top o' the world, ma! Top o' the world!"_

"Oh yeah. That's a good one."

"You?"

Kate broke eye contact and smirked. "You'll laugh."

Castle returned the grin. "Oh, now I gotta know. Come on, spill."

"'Pretty in Pink.'"

Castle laughed gave up the chip. "Seriously? Molly Ringwald? Not 'Forbidden Planet?'"

"Oh, well, I love 'Forbidden Planet,' but 'Pretty in Pink' was one of my mom's favorite movies and I used to watch it with her. It's still my favorite."

They continued on, asking and answering the simple questions, then Kate threw Castle for a loop by asking, "How'd you lose your virginity?"

"Whoa, we're into deeper waters now, aren't we?"

"Come on Castle, answer the questions, how'd you lose your virginity?"

"Uh, just like everyone else, by having sex? "

"Oh, that just cost you three chips. Hand them over."

"No, no, well…" He forfeited his three chips. "I'll answer, but you have to go first."

"Okay, it was during the Super Bowl in 1994."

Castle made a come-on motion with his fingers and handed over some chips. "Elaborate, please."

Kate smiled. "Okay. I was seventeen. I thought I was totally in love with my current boyfriend, Austin Campbell. He was the quarter-back on the football team."

"But of course."

Kate smacked his arm. "Don't interrupt. His parents were out of town and he invited me over. I told my parents I was going to a Super Bowl party, like there would be other people there, but it was just me and Austin. We ordered a pizza and broke into his father's liquor cabinet."

Castle gave an exaggerated gasp. "Why, Detective Beckett!"

Kate smirked. "We had a couple of drinks and then…well, one thing led to another…on his parent's couch. Austin was kind enough to provide a condom for the occasion, thank God. When I got home that night I couldn't meet my parents eyes. Austin and I broke up two months later." She looked over at Castle. "And there you have it. Pretty by the book. How about you?"

Kate was surprised that Castle suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. "Uh, it was at a beach house in the Hamptons one summer."

"And?" Kate was shocked that Castle suddenly stuffed all his remaining doughnut pieces in his mouth.

"Castle?"

Around a mouthful of stale doughnut, Castle said, "Nope. I paid the price to refuse elaboration. I surrender."

"Oh, no, no, no. Now I _have_ to know! Come on, give."

Castle brushed the crumbs from his hands and shook his head. "Nope, game's over, you win."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments. "At least tell me how old you were," Kate said softly.

Castle's mouth opened but nothing came out. "I, uh, I was…fourteen."

Kate turned an astonished face to him. "Fourteen? That's a little young, don't you think?"

"Actually, I had just turned fourteen."

"Even younger. Was your partner the same age?"

"Uh, no, not exactly."

"I hope you're not going to tell me she was younger?"

"Oh, no, she definitely wasn't younger than me."

"Older , then?"

Castle rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, a bit."

"How much is a bit?"

Castle was not meeting her eyes at this point. "A few years."

"Like sixteen or seventeen, something like that?"

"Uh, no, a bit more than that."

"Define your bits for me, Castle."

Castle was silent for a few moments, his jaw working, and then said, "Thirty-five."

Kate couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Excuse me? Did you just say she was thirty-five?"

"Yes, yes, now you know. Can we just drop it?"

Kate just stared at him, mouth open.

"It was just one of those Mrs. Robinson things, you know?" Castle said, almost desperately.

"I beg your pardon? 'Just one of those Mrs. Robinson things?' You weren't a college graduate home for the summer, Castle, you were fourteen. _Fourteen_. In most places in this country that's called statutory rape." Kate was so outraged she was surprised there wasn't smoke coming out of her ears.

"It wasn't like that." Kate felt a pang for how hard Castle was trying to appease her. "It was consensual. She taught me a lot of things that summer, not the least of which is how to treat a woman, in bed and out."

"Castle, just because you were a boy and she was a woman doesn't make it any less wrong. If it had been a thirty-five year old man and a fourteen year old girl, how would you feel about it?" She could see the answer on his face, but continued, "And if you've been watching the news lately, what if it were a thirty-five year old man and a fourteen year old boy?"

She felt terrible that Castle now looked so miserable. "I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't told you," he said quietly.

Kate put a comforting hand on his arm. "I'm not mad at you, Castle, I'm angry at what that woman did to you. How did this happen?"

Castle sighed. She could see he was reluctant to go into details with her, but the cat was already out of the bag. "My mother had just ended a play on Broadway. She rented a house in the Hamptons and invited a lot of the cast to come spend the summer with her. The main person she wanted to come was a man named David Rhys, whom she was interested in. She tried to leave me at home with Mrs. Steiner, our neighbor, whom she paid to watch me now and then. But that meant a summer of watching soap operas and sleeping on her ratty couch with her Chihuahua, Mickey, so I did something I didn't normally do. I protested. Loudly. Mother finally agreed to take me with her as long as I kept to myself and didn't bother her and her friends too much. I agreed and looked forward to a summer on the beach.

I did as agreed and kept away from them as much as possible. I have always been an early riser, so I'd get up and have the house and the pool to myself for a few hours before they all finally got out of bed. I found an old bike on the beach and fixed it up enough I could ride it around, and I was having a great time."

Kate was surprised when a smile crossed his face. "The only time I intruded on their party was at night at supper. They would sit around afterward and tell these great stories of being in the theater, and I just ate them up." He glanced at Kate. "The future writer in me, I guess."

"One night we were all sitting around and I was listening to their stories, and I felt someone watching me. I looked up and a woman with long, blonde hair and a killer figure was watching me rather intently. She smiled at me when I caught her watching. Her name was Lorraine."

"Last name?" Kate said.

Castle shook his head. "Nope, sorry, you don't get that."

"Okay, go on."

"I was always the tallest kid in class and looked older than I was. One night at supper Lorraine ended up sitting next to me." Kate snorted. Castle ignored it and went on. "She asked me, 'Ricky, how old are you? Sixteen? Seventeen?" I told her no, I was just fourteen. She reached over and touched my hair and said, "My, you look so mature and grown up for your age." That made fourteen-year-old me feel so good. That I looked like more of an adult to her. I just smiled at her and didn't think anything more about it."

"Didn't your mother notice any of this?" Kate asked.

Castle shook his head. "As I said, Mother was more interested in her new love than she was me, and at the best of times she usually left me to my own devices, anyway."

Kate felt badly for the young Castle. Martha loved her son, but her benign neglect had left more of a mark on him than Kate suspected Martha realized.

"One morning I got up early, as usual, and put my trunks on to go swimming. The pool at the house was enormous and I would challenge myself to see how many laps I could do each day. When I finished, I pulled myself up and out of the pool, and there she was, sunbathing on one of the lounge chairs, lying on her stomach with her bikini top unfastened. She raised her head and smiled and said, "Good morning, Ricky. Be a love and come put suntan lotion on my back. I can't reach."

"My heart was in my mouth. I was at that age where a guy suddenly becomes very aware of his body and sex in general, but I'd had zip actual experience with women. I went over and sat on the chair next to hers, took the bottle and squeezed some lotion into my hand. I put it on her back and slowly started to rub it in. I was actually doing okay until she moaned."

"She moaned?"

"Oh yeah. The bad part was, my body reacted immediately. I was mortified. I dropped the bottle and ran. I remember hearing her laughter following me. I stopped going to the pool in the morning. I would sneak out and head to the beach instead, just to avoid her. At supper at night, I made sure she wasn't sitting anywhere near me, but I could feel her staring at me, even when I wasn't looking."

"Why didn't you say anything to your mother?"

Castle shook his head. "It wouldn't have done any good. I don't know that she would even have believed me." At Kate's look he added, "Oh, she wouldn't think I was lying, she would probably have just thought I was imagining things, you know, the way kids do."

"Hmmphff," Kate snorted. "Go on," she prompted.

"Anyway, it all came to a head, no pun intended, one day when Mother and the rest of the guests decided to take a trip into the nearby town and eat at a local restaurant and explore the town. Mother didn't want me to go; she made that abundantly clear by saying how great it was that I would have the whole house to myself for the afternoon. I was thrilled. There was a huge screening room in the basement of the house, with a huge library of movies, not all of them G-rated, if you know what I mean."

"You planned on watching some porn." Kate said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, as I said, it was that time in my life where I had become extremely interested in sex and my own body."

"Uh, huh. You were…"

"Yeah," He cut her off. "I was, shall we say, exploring myself as I watched the movie. I thought I was totally alone to do as I pleased, but…"

"She came back?"

"Yes. She apparently had pleaded a headache and took a cab back to the house. She found me downstairs. She must have searched the house for me to find me like that, but when I say my mortification at the pool was nothing compared to this, I am in no way exaggerating."

"What happened?" Kate felt a pang of guilt for her curiosity.

Suddenly Castle looked extremely uncomfortable. He turned his head away from her. "About what you'd expect. That's how I lost my virginity, okay? Can we talk about something else?"

Kate felt terrible. She put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"I think our thirty minutes are up. Can we go now?"

Without a word, Kate started the car and put it into gear.

#######

Years later, when they were just married, Kate stroked the skin of her husband's stomach and tried to get her breathing back under control. She felt him sigh and stroke her hair. The sex between them was incredible. The fact that she loved this man like no other man she'd ever known made it all the more intense. For some reason she was suddenly reminded of the woman named Lorraine. Nothing about this had been mentioned since that day a long time ago on a boring stakeout in her car.

"Rick?" She murmured.

"Hmmm?" He sounded on the verge of sleep.

"Is it okay to ask you more about Lorraine?" She felt his body stiffen, then relax.

"I guess so. What do you want to know?"

"What happened that day in the screening room?"

Rick sighed heavily. "Well, as I said, I was…you know…and she suddenly appeared before me. She was wearing a pink, low-cut tank and denim shorts and sandals. She had just caught me doing something I didn't want _anyone_ to see, and there was this feral grin on her face. I wanted to get up and run, but my pants were down around my ankles. Before I could do anything she was on her knees and had me in her mouth. It was both the most incredible thing I'd ever felt and the most terrifying. When I was about to cum, I tried to get her to stop, I didn't want to do it in her mouth, but she wouldn't let me go." I was horrified, but she seemed to like it."

He sighed. "Afterward, she asked me if that had felt good. I said it did. She told me she could show me some things that felt just as good or better. She asked if I wanted her to do that. I said I did. We went to my room and we had sex again, this time the conventional way. After that she would come to my room at night after everyone had gone to bed and we would have sex. She showed me several different variations on the theme, and showed me how to please a woman, how to touch her, to use protection, things like that, and she told me if a woman says no, even if she just said yes, to believe her."

"Yes, clearly she was a peach. I take it the term sexual predator wasn't around in those days?"

"Kate,"

"Sorry. How long did this go on?"

"About a month."

"What happened?"

"One morning I got up and went downstairs, and my mother was there, at the breakfast table, something she rarely did. I asked her why she was up and she said Lorraine had left. She got a movie part and had to fly to California. That was it. It was over without even a note from her."

"Did you ever see her again?"

"Well, not until after I had my writing career going. I was at a book-signing for one of the first Derek Storm novels in Midtown and suddenly she was there. She was older, but then, so was I. She told me how happy she was that I had made a success of myself, told me I was more handsome than she remembered, had me sign her book and disappeared into the crowd. I have never seen her since."

Kate lay silently for a few moments. "How long was it before you had sex with anyone again?"

"Not until I was sixteen. She was the same age, if you were wondering."

"I was." She stroked him again and kissed his stomach.

#######

A few months later, at one of Rick's latest Nikki Heat book party, Kate watched as her husband mingled with his adoring crowd. He was always so attentive to his fans, one of the hundreds of things she loved him for, and she was smiling as she observed the crowd. Martha came over and gave her a hug and Kate smelled the alcohol on her. "Kate. It's going very well, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. My husband knows how to work a crowd."

Martha grinned and linked an arm with Kate's. "Ah, despite everything, my son has turned out to be a good man, I'm happy to say."

"Yes he is." Kate agreed. Then the smile faded from her face. "Martha, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, darling, what is it?" Martha turned her attention to her daughter-in-law.

"Do you remember an actress named Lorraine?"

The smile disappeared from Martha's face. "Did Richard mention her to you?"

"Yes, he was telling me about that summer in the Hamptons."

Martha shook her head. "Of all the dreadful things I have done to my son, not protecting him from that woman has been my worst sin."

Kate frowned. "You knew?"

Martha shook her head. "Not until it had been going on for some time. I caught a look between them one night, and all the alarm bells went off in my head. I got up in the middle of the night and went to Richard's room. I opened the door as quietly as possible and there they were, naked in each other's arms, asleep." Tears filled her eyes at the memory. "The next morning, when Lorraine was attempting to sneak from Richard's room, I intercepted her and had her come downstairs with me. I told her I knew what she'd done. I told her she was disgusting and if she didn't leave the house immediately and never contact my son again I would call the police and have her arrested. She got a bit weepy, but went upstairs and left without another word. I told Richard she'd got a part and had to leave. He was rather heartbroken for a few weeks, but slowly, finally, life went on. Not only will I never forgive that woman, I will never forgive myself."

"You never said anything to Rick?"

Martha squeezed her arm. "No, I never did. I didn't want to embarrass him."

"Oh, Martha." Kate hugged her mother-in-law, a bit weepy herself.

"Ladies, everything okay?" It was Rick with two champagne glasses in his hands. "You seem awfully serious for a very _not_ serious party."

Kate and Martha broke apart and both wiped at their eyes. "It's just we're so very proud of you, darling," Martha said and kissed her son's cheek. Rick looked at Kate and she nodded in agreement.

Rick put his arms around both of them. "Well, I have to say, you two have made me a happy, happy man. What else could I ask for?" He beamed at both of them.

Fin


End file.
